September 21, 1997

September 21, 1997

"Tell them I'm alright..."

What's New...

Let's see. Zoot doesn't belong to anyone at the complex. At least no one has reported him missing. I got a catbox for him (thankfully he knows how to use it) and some food. This is a neat animal. Like a reincarnation of Shaman. He sleeps on the bed, follows me like a back pocket and helps me jam. To wit: he stares up at me playing the git, and then jumps onto my leg. He is too small to pull himself all the way up, so I have to reach down and help him up onto my chest and shoulders. He still hasn't gotten used to sitting up there, but it is eerie how Shaman did the exact same thing. Maybe he and Shaman were just trying to get me to stop playing. Everybody's a critic. Thinking of changing his name to Scooter or Scoot. Zoot just doesn't seem to fit. We'll see. He has yet to tell me how he feels.

Don't know how big the little dood is going to get, but here at the Mutation Lab, we're going to try to turn him into some kind of huge 'o cat. Not fat, just BIG. Maybe some trips to Hanford. He has this black gunk in his ears that I'm going to let the Vet get out. I would alienate him big time doing it (as would the bath and dip he'll get, shots, etc.) and we're still in the bonding stage. Awwwwww. Been draggin around a robe tie cause all my other cats like playing with them. He does too. Trying to help him get his leaping and timing coordination together. The little bugger nicked me in the nose a while back and that hurt like stool. As soon as he is old enough, he's going to lose his balls. He's just like Shaman, which is like saying he's like any other young male cat. He goes off for a while by himself and soon I hear Craash, Bam, Thud! That should settle down after The Operation! Woke up one night when Shaman was alive, and there had been this tremendous crash. I turned on the light and he was hanging by the paws from the top of the bedroom door. Swinging slowly. I just looked at him as he looked at me, told him he was getting his balls cut off the next day and turned off the light.

Just checked my Lotto ticket. I like buying them cause it's a cheap way to stimulate a dream.

What's On My Mind

Sadness and lonliness.

Spent the weekend inside. It was a glorious weekend too. Nowhere to go and no one to go there with. The scoot needs fixing and I'm trying to save money. I do want to get out sometime and get the soundtracks for From Dusk till Dawn and Desperado. I've been listening to ME's This War Is Over for a long time and it really gets to me. Good and bad. I think I'm up all night tonight. Slept a major portion of the day, and don't have any Melatonin, so I guess I'll just get an early start tomm. Joy.

I have no desire to be living "60 years on". Was thinking about all the pain and loss we suffer through our lives and it's no wonder that the older you get the more comforting a thought the end is. At least for me. I've had enough to last me the rest of my time. Your mileage may vary. I'm fighting, but I'm getting tired again. This year's winter break is something I'm not looking forward to. I think I'll go down to my Sister's in CA so I don't have to be here all by myself. Preventative maintenance of the brain. I just can't seem to find a reason to do this much longer.

I have a letter to respond to. The person who wrote it has no email (shocking ain't it?) and so must use USPS.

I am smoking WAY too much. I just can't seem to quit. And, what with smokes not being addictive, I don't know what my problem is. The wood fires have started around here. People stoking up their fireplaces and stoves and just letting the smoke roll. To hell with air quality I says, "Let 'em breathe smoke!". But then why am I complaining?

Enough.

Be Joyous!

- The Other White Meat.

<a smoke>

"I am alone."

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