April 21, 1997
"They locked me up, they let me out..."
1.00A...
We got up around 2.20P this PM after being up till about 5.30A. And, we took a 2 hour nap shortly after that so I'm totally shot for sleeping tonight. That will be okay. I have little to do tomorrow (famous last words) and after work am going for a haircut and asleep by 7.00P.
Colette left around 10.30P. Sadness. Still on track for moving in on May 1st. This is very, very good stuff Maynard!!!! We had a glorious weekend in spite of the rain and cruddy weather. In fact, we never left the apartment. We had to run around on Friday and get some things for the weekend, but after that, it was cocoon city. We picked up this huge candle and let it burn whilst it filled up the space with scent. Don't know what it was but it smelled good. The real problem will be fitting all her stuff in here until we move. I find that women are superior to men in the space arranging arena so she's got that action. When I left Wilmington, DE; if it hadn't been for the assistance of a woman to show me how to get everything into my VW Golf, I don't know how I would have moved it all. I at least just don't visualize space as efficiently as women do.
I bean wearing the same boots for almost two years now. The soles in both need resoling. As beat as they are though I am debating about just buying another pair. I don't think they will last much longer. And, as sole's cost about half or more the cost of new boots, it doesn't make much sense to do it. It's just the green side of me coming out I guess.
*** Taking a short break to clean gunk from the keyboard and eat some Starburst JellyBeans ***
Back... and now that the OpenPages listserv is up and spewing, I am getting inundated with all sorts of mail. I'm kind of hoping that it will generate some good conv on introspection. Right now though, I've read a lot of posts from people who try to keep away from "weepy, depressing posts" as if this is a bad thing. To each it's own. Many different views on why's and when's and where's and how much they get out of online diaries and who they tell about their diary and .... I wonder if the Gulag Wars will rear it's ugly head in the list? Wouldn't that be a real hoot? A flame war....After having lived through three of them on newsgroups, I can't say I'd look forward to another one. So let's hope that my companhos on the OP list have some restraint or that somebody will moderate the thing if it gets out of hand. I guess I'm ambivalent about the whole thing. I think OP's is a great place for people to do their thing ... whatever it is they are doing (and there are as many reasons as people writing) and personally don't feel the need to gestate in another medium other than HTML. So it goes. We'll see what it turns into. *** Later ... Kewl!! Just read one about "not whining" in your journal about your life or problems. You gotta love people ... cause you can't escape interacting with them!
I have to say that I am glad I came back to OP. I had missed writing and reading others journals. Mostly, I missed the friends I have made here and missed knowing what was happening to them. Plus, as I got better, I missed getting things down and visible so that I could look at them and sort them out. I felt I was bottling things up that I needed to be discussing. Or just being out there and not hiding anymore. For me, that is the reason I do this. Not to hide anything about me anymore. Not any illness I have, nor what I am, nor who I am. It's a way for me to get out and stand up for myself and say "I'm here, I matter and I can live with it if you don't like it." After lived a long time avoiding conflict because of the past and things I learned, it helps me to give my ego a boost and to not fear confrontation, conflict or disapproval.
It's kinda funny. You can have maladaptive behaviors that get you very far in life. I have done this. But, the end result is that sometime you come to the realization that coping this way is either killing you or burning you out. That you are not yourself...you are a construct cobbled together to get by. At least that is the way it was for me. Your mileage may differ.
Is it just me or does anyone else listen to CD's on continuous loop for hours jamming the same tunes over and over? I'm beginning to wonder about it. I know why I think I do it but should I apply Heisenberg's prinicple to this equation and say that I can never really ever know anything???? Nah... I just like the tuneage. Besides ... it's Def Leppard and the guitar playing is so tasty that you just got to sit and love the distortions they come up with. Speaking of guitar's, the jack of my Godin fell out when I tried to tighten it and I haven't taken it into the shop yet ... and that was four weeks ago. I have the Elite so I don't need it right now but I miss playing it. I'm waiting for more money in the accounts before I start taking care of things like that.
Apple posted a $708M dollar loss. Expected but hair raising. I'm so glad that Be is going to be there to pick up the slack should Apple tank out. And with Ellison trying to turn it into Microsoft South, things would get a lot worse. I will be buying a PowerPC that can run the MacOS but I don't expect to do that for long. After the Preview Release comes out, and companies can start gauging the consumer reaction, the release of real apps for the platform will take off. It still needs a top-notch browser, a WYSIWYG HTML tool, and a slew of utilities; but ultimately I think it will do very well. There are many apps waiting in the wings for the Prev Rel to come out and PowerCC to start its' major bundling efforts. Motorola is also a partner with Be in OS placement. If Apple keeps going down the road it's on or can't pull up in time, Be will begin to take over. Especially with VirtualMac from fredlabs. Multi-media labs all over the country will be running Be's and once you get one in the door, it will be "Katie bar the door". BTW, I still don't know if end quotes go before or after periods.
Spent Thursday doing HTML editor evals on Windoze products. Working with a Webmaster at work, we downloaded a slew of the available demos and checked em out. James liked NetObjects Fusion. I got him to try Claris HomePage and referred him to DeltaPoint's QuickSite. He liked HomePage for it's functionality over FrontPage which surprised me. I would have thought he would prefer the MS product but he said that it won't run on his laptop because it's not connected to the network. He needs something that will do site management at home when he is not connected to the Intranet. Fusion allows him to do this. He also said it's got the fullest feature suite of any of them. I would have to agree. It looks like PageMaker. It's one complex mother of a program. And at $695, I would expect it to be. It better be able to balance the Federal debt for that price. It does seem to allow exact placement of images and text via an object like paradigm similar to a graphics program. I didn't play with it for very long cause I had other things to do but it looks fast.
Weeelllllll, it seems Maggy has really left Interaccess this time ... She designed a site for me that I haven't paid for yet. I was crazy and she had decided to stay at Interaccess. So now it's payment time. Which is cool cause now I'm ready to proceed with the proj and she's got a business to run. If you have any design needs, go to KIA and contact them. They have some of the most studly people on the planet in their team. If they can't get it together for you, no one can.
Just made some more coffee and my tongue feels like a burning piece of chrome (please don't sue me Mr. Gibson). Nicotine can build up on your oral appendages until it feels like the inside of your mouth is going to burst into flames or fall out on the floor. At least I won't have to have my lungs mummified...which is nice. It will save on the package cost after I'm gone. After all, have you priced Pharaonic-level mummification lately. I tell you, it's criminal.
Got some other things to do before I upload this. If there is nothing after this then I had nothing else to say. If there is, I did.
Be Joyous!
Drew
<Smoking a Marlboro Light, drinking Yuban and staying up all night.>
"I scream and shout!"
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